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27 July 2006
Penis Meets Belly Button: A Stretching Landmark
by George Atkinson

Week 30

Years ago when I was in college I overheard a guy say: "Well, I just strap my dick to my belly button and carry on." I never knew the context. It was probably something to do with what to do when you get an erection on the dance floor/bus/bookstore line-up.

Everyone laughed knowingly but I remember thinking: "Belly button? His dick reaches his belly button?? Does everyone's dick reach their belly button? Mine sure as hell doesn't!" Even with a blood-vessel-bursting erection my dick barely grazed my beltline, a good inch and a half below my naval. I could go shirtless on the dance floor/bus/bookstore line-up without any risk of joey sticking his head out of the pouch.

But listen up, I've reached another milestone on my quest for a great strapping dick. Just this morning, strapped into my stretcher, I bent down to pick up a pen that had fallen off my desk and felt an odd sensation. I looked down and there was the head of my dick nestled snugly in my belly button!

Now, when I sat back up my belly button and dick disengaged, but for a while there was real contact. Now, this is not something in the same league as the fall of the Berlin Wall, but it was exciting nevertheless, if for no other reason than because it was totally unexpected. It also got me to thinking "What else can I do? Can I... Kiss it!"

Well I tried. And tried. And then tried some more. I tried bobbing my head fast. I tried moving in r-e-a-l slow. No dice. As my head advanced my dick retreated. It stayed about seven inches away. Eventually the tension was so great that my dick popped out of the extender and I gave up. Now, I've heard that there are guys who can suck their own dicks. Of course, this could just be a false memory based on a limerick I heard about a guy from Nantucket. I've certainly never seen it done. But with enough flexibility and or course a long enough dick, it's seems that a self-suck session would be perfectly feasible.

So, now I've got a real goal. Belly button? Pah! I'm going to wear this mechanical contraption until I can tickle my tonsils. Mind you, at the rate I'm going it'll take me 'til I'm eighty, but stay tuned and I'll let you know when I get there.

Catch-up with the other episodes in Paul's Extender Experience.

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