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14 November 2005
Of Tubes And Tension
by George Atkinson

WEEK 12

Okay. I know I promised a measurement update this week but it has occurred to me that since next week will be my 13th week and 13 is one quarter of 52 which is the number of weeks in the year, I though I would deliver my first quarterly State of the Penis Report. This week will be dedicated to yet another complaint. I know - bitch, bitch, bitch.

Most of my complaints thus far have been in regards to design. This particular bitch, is especially bitch-worthy because it pertains to what I suspect is a sneaky intent on the part of the honchos behind the Pro-Extender, to force their customers into the purchase of spare parts. As you may remember from a previous entry, spare parts are egregiously, unforgivably expensive, doubly so, when shipping charges are added in. The spare part in this instance is the silicone tube that secures the penis to the front piece. But it could just as easily be the flimsy protective sponge pad that has a usable life of three weeks tops.

These two items are included in the singular. But they are not built to go the distance. Ergo: Spare part purchase. The sponge pad, it could be argued, is not meant to be worn past the first couple of weeks, after which your penis is presumably tough enough to go it alone with the silicone tube. But for those sissy boys like me who are adverse to pain, especially in the penis, you'd think, for the 3 extra cents it cost, they might chuck in a few spares. Ditto, for the silicone tube.

Now at first glance its not apparent that the tube should need replacing. It's made of silicone, which at normal temperatures is chemically inert. It doesn't break down. But this tube is drawn through two tight holes. There's friction and where there's friction, atoms gets sloughed off. Over time the tube diameter gets smaller, the surface structure breaks down. At some point the loss is enough that the ends of the tube begin to pop out the friction fit notches that are supposed to keep them secure. When this happens the tension on the tube begins to loosen and eventually the penis slips out.

I've found that wrapping an elastic band around the apparatus, generally keeps the wayward tubing in place. But I shouldn't have to resort to this. 5/16 Silicone tubing costs $125 for a 500 ft. roll. And that's the fancy platinum cured stuff. That works out to 20 cents per length. Twenty cents! Of course it's not in their interest to take a 20 cent hit when they make a $20 profit and I guess I can't blame them. But I object to it on philosophical grounds. The Pro-Extender is not a loss leader like a $30 printer that uses a $40 ink cartridge. They charge handsomely for their product. It's a good product, I don't deny it. Nor do I deny them the right to make a killer profit from its sale. But to continue to milk the customers who, having shelled out big time for their initial purchase are left with no choice but to shell out $20 plus shipping, for a 20 cent part that is destined to fail over the long haul is simply, well, bad form.

Next installment - The Quarterly State of the Penis Report.

Catch-up with the other episodes in Paul's Extender Experience.




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