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9 August 2005
The Whimpering Penis
by George Atkinson


Okay. This could lie somewhere between my imagination and random statistical noise, but I think I'm bigger. According to my trusty tape measure I'm 1 millimeter larger. That's one tenth of a centimeter, or, for the metric uninitiated, 1/32 of an inch. I've also managed to wear this ridiculous device longer than before. My penis is becoming more inured to the stress. Am I developing calluses on my dick? It doesn't feel like it but it's definitely tougher. Yesterday for the first time I tried the device sans protection pad. Remarkably it didn't hurt - at least at first.

During the first two weeks, the instructions recommend the device only be worn for four to six hours daily at minimum tension. After this initial period you have permission to wear this thing for 12 hours a day with the tension cranked up to the max. I'm not sure if something magical happens on the 15th day but I'm a long way from that. At moderate tension I can still only wear the device for 2-3 hours at a "stretch". After an hour or so of rest, I can slap it back on for another couple of hours.

Increasing the tension dramatically reduces the amount of time it's possible to wear the device without discomfort. At maximum tension I can still only wear it for half an hour or so. No pain-no gain I guess, but it seems to me that there must be a maximal point, where the time-worn line intersects with the tension-line on the growth gains graph. I don't know where this point is. Is it better to wear the device 12 hours a day at minimum tension or 2 hours at maximum tension? It occurs to me that this would be valuable information. As far as I can determine, it's not out there. Memo to self: Must write to Pro Extender and question them on this.

I'm finding that while my penis is tolerating being choked and stretched with remarkably little complaint, my pubic area upon which the base rests is getting quite sore. Often this area is screaming before my poor penis lets out a whimper. In a feat worthy of McGyver, I've fashioned a soft cloth with a hole in the center, through which I insert my penis before mounting the device. This helps a lot. One should be included in the kit. Memo to self: Write another letter to Pro Extender.


I've been wearing the Pro Extender for two weeks now. As per the Instructions, I've tried increasing the tension and the time worn. Allowing for rest periods, I'm wearing it for about eight hours a day at a moderate (900 grams) tension. I could wear it more were it not for scheduling issues. I've yet to wear this thing in public for any duration. In the up position it bulges a bit in the front. A loose un-tucked T-shirt pretty much conceals the bulge but when the wind blows against me I might as well be wearing spandex. In the down position, my glans rubs against the cloth and feels uncomfortable.

Nevertheless, it is my journalistic responsibility here to inform and so earlier today I decided to "go out in public" This is my story:

I'm wearing a pair or loose fitting shorts and mindful of the compressing force of the wind, I've decided to wear the device in the down position. I'm walking to the local grocer about five blocks away. The street I live on is heavy with pedestrian traffic. As I merge into the flow I feel acutely self conscious and oddly naughty. It occurs to me that there may well be other pedestrians on this very street wearing the same device. I imagine a sudden Rapture that leaves only dick stretcher wearers behind. Who might they be? These unknown comrades.

I get to the store, buy my stuff. Chat with the cashier who I'm pretty sure had NO IDEA I was wearing a dick stretcher. What would she have thought of me if she had? I'm pretty sure she'd be creeped out but these are the early days of male genital enhancement. We can all bleet in unison that size doesn't matter but deep down we all know that it does. Once it becomes established that there IS something you can do about it, might doing something about it become a rite of passage? How long before guys are wearing them in the communal shower? Will there be clinics for men who become obsessed with growing their penis ever larger? Penis extremists? Militant whacktivists? Dick stretching as a competitive sport?

Something is happening. I'm walking down my street when suddenly I feel... something... happening. Uh-oh. Once the though has registered that something is happening it takes less than a millisecond to ascribe a theory as to what that something is. My penis is slipping out. It takes another millisecond or so to realize what will happen when it does. For all you slow people out there, here's a breakdown: I'm wearing this device in the down position. My penis is the mooring by which the front plate remains secured to the rest of the device. If my penis slips out of the noose, down will fall front plate, through my shorts, tumbling out in full view before landing with a clatter on the sidewalk. The remaining rods, still of course in the down position, will dig into my thighs if I bend to pick it up. Somebody will have to pick it up for me. Someone from the neighborhood. And of course they'll know what it is and who I am and within days everybody I've ever met will know I'm wearing a dick stretcher. My penis has popped out before. I know the feeling and I know it hasn't happened yet. But with every step I can feel it slip further. I try to calculate the best strategy. Hurry home before it pops out, or walk carefully to ensure it doesn't. I elect the latter and walk the remaining distance gingerly. But the distance seems to stretch out like the staircase in Vertigo. Bare steps from my house I feel it slip further, just as my neighbor comes out of her house. I give a curt nod, to discourage conversation then make my way up the steps. Once inside I quickly pull down my pants to assess the danger (now passed) My penis is strapped in as securely as when I left the house. My suffering and paranoia were for naught. Or were they? I've inadvertently discovered the first real design flaw in the Pro Extender. I resolve to always wear the device in the up position, wind be damned.

To be continued...

Catch-up with other episodes in Paul's Extender Experience.

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