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Penis Stretching Using The Pro Extender
by Intrepid Reviewer No. 2

Since Harvey B. vanished into the wilderness with a penis extended by 0.4 of an inch, it has fallen to me to attempt pick-up the banner and go the distance (six months of penile traction) to determine once and for all if the Pro Extender, also known as the Jes-Extender, is for real.

The claims are certainly impressive. One website allowed me to key in my current measurements (6 inches) and calculate my future measurements. According to the calculator (and these things don't lie), if I wear the device 12 hours a day at the recommended tension, I'll have nine inch club by Christmas. I can't wait! Other websites claim a more moderate 24 percent increase. But I've seen websites for herbal growth formulas that claim guaranteed gains that exceed these amounts and we all know they're bunkum. So what can we believe? Penis extender websites are SELLING penis extenders and the more gains they claim the more sales they make. Other websites flogging different products denounce penis extenders, claiming that while they may add length, they actually reduce girth. Still others highlight the hazards; blood supply constriction leading to tissue necrosis, gangrene and... eek! Amputation! Unbiased objectivity is obviously needed here and over the next six months that's what I intend to provide. I will follow the manufacturer's instructions and recommendations as closely as possible. I will provide a weekly account of my measurements and experiences. In the cacophony of hucksters and penile product mongers mine will be the lone voice of truth!

The Pro Extender operates on the principle that when subject to constant stress, tissue breaks down and rebuilds itself, creating cells to fill the empty space. A moment's thought reveals why this would be necessary. If it weren't so, any differential growth between body parts would result in horrible malformations, bones sticking through flesh etc. We've all seen pictures of African tribesmen with lips wrapped around platters the size of desert plates. Woman with rings that have stretched their necks beyond what Audrey Hepburn could have achieved in a lifetime of yoga and good posture. After a billion or so years of evolution, the body has learned to adjust.

Sounds reasonable but can it work with the penis? The penis isn't just muscle tissue. It has a complex internal structure, with spongy tissue and cavities that fill with blood. And even if it is possible to increase length, what about width? The manufacturers of penile traction devices claim increases in girth as well as length. But how is this possible? Women who don't wear bras develop breasts that are longer AND thinner. Nobody wants a ten inch pencil dick so what gives? And what, if any, are the limitations (assuming the claims are true)? Could a man with sufficient time and inclination grow a penis that he could tie around his waist as a sash?

Questions. Questions. Questions. It's time now to learn some answers.

WEEK ONE - DAY ONE

The Extender has arrived. It comes in a dark mahogany box with the logo tastefully embossed on the cover. Inside the component pieces lie disassembled but it's clear from the moment the lid is raised that this is no Wal-Mart special. This baby has been finely engineered. In all there are 23 components, all milled to exacting specifications. This is the dick stretcher the CIA uses!

Enclosed is a an instruction booklet that details the means of penis enlargement, methods of use and warnings of misuse. In spite of the obvious engineering that has gone into its construction, the device is a paragon of simplicity. In essence the device is a rack, resting on a plastic base, through which the penis is inserted. Another base (front piece) lies at the end of a series of metal inserts, into which two ends of a length of silicone are to be inserted, creating a loop which is fastened below the glans (head of the penis) Once the penis is strapped in, springs elongate the penis and provide the necessary traction. This traction can be increased by rotating threaded bolts at either side of the device. Once inside and fully stretched the penis can be set at any angled desired. Sounds pretty clear. Let's strap this sucker on.

Hmm. It's immediately apparent that practice and theory are at odds here. Just slip the glans through the silicone noose and secure. My ass! I need three hands. One to press down on the spring, one to pull on my dick and the other to tighten the noose. My dick knows something bad is going to happen and it's trying to retreat. With a little dexterity I succeed but it hurts like hell. The kit comes with a spongy protection pad. I try that. Much, much better. I can barely feel it now. In fact when I turn the screws to increase tension it actually feels... well... rather nice.

For some reason the silicone tubing provided is the wrong size. It barely fits through the holes in the front piece and there's no way in hell the folded ends of the tube will lock into the grooves in the underside. Why would this be? My theory is some guy at the dick stretcher factory ordered the wrong size. The problem with this is that the ends of the tube are relatively stiff and stick out. If I use it in the down position the ends of the tube dig into my leg. If I flip it up, the ends stick straight out. In loose fitting clothes this has the effect of pushing the fabric out several inches. It's looks like I have a noticeable, if very small, erection. Hardly the thing you want to be flitting about with in public. The problem is that I can't order the proper part. You can separately order every single component (at wildly inflated prices) except the silicone straps. No matter. Silicone tubing is available. I just have to get the right size and apologize to the salesperson for only buying eight inches worth.

I have got hairs on my dick, and not just a few. Towards the base I'm positively furry. How is it I've lived my whole post-adolescent life and never noticed it? I notice now because these hairs keep jamming up the works. There are multiple screws and knobs that must be turned to adjust tension and angle. And every time I try I rip another few hairs out of my dick. Should I shave? Has anyone in the history of mankind ever shaved his dick?

I try setting the angle in different positions. In the down position I look like Tommy Lee. I take a measurement. Fully extended my penis is 5.75 inches. I'm in awe. My maximum skin busting erection never exceeded 6 inches. I strut around for a bit, naked. So far so good. But when I try to sit it becomes a problem. No matter what angle I set it at, my balls are in the way. They push up into the mechanism. As long as I sit, perched at the front of the chair with my testicles hanging it feels fine. The moment I sit back in the chair it hurts, especially if I try to lean forward. This may be one of the things I'll just have to get used to.

I've now worn this thing for about one hour without serious discomfort. I've got to leave on some errands. I'm not prepared to wear this outside so I'll take it off. The guide tell you to wear the extender for four hours a day for the first two weeks then gradually increasing the time to 12 hours per day. Not sure I can ever spend 12 hours a day hanging off the end of my chair by the hairs on my ass. Maybe I'll wear it at night. It seems like it should be comfortable enough. We'll see...

WEEK ONE - DAY TWO

I've heard of recurring nightmares but this is ridiculous. I've had the same nightmare twice inside of two hours. I wore the stretcher. I had it on too tight. I woke up and the tip of my penis was gray. I had strangled the life out of my dick and now it was dead. It would have to be amputated. Every time I woke up I'd check to make sure it was still pink. Or wait... is it purple? Purple's okay isn't it? It gets purple when it's engorged. But this isn't engorged. It's a shrunken nub. I take it off. My penis collapses gratefully against my loins. It seems alright. I contemplate putting it back on. I'm supposed to wear it four to five hours a day to start. A quick calculation tells me I've worn this device for 3.5 hours. Good enough. Good night.

The next day I get an early start. There's some residual soreness from the night before. I decide to try it with clothes on. They say you can wear it under loose fitting clothes. I've had my doubts but I give it a shot. I try it in the up position but the ends of the silicone tube stick out. (You're supposed to fold them into notches on the underside of the front plate but it seems the tube is too wide to fit in) I secure the ends with an elastic band. Not bad. With an untucked t-shirt, I can barely see it. I check out my profile in the mirror. There is a slight protrusion, nothing that would turn any heads but it's there for any trained dick-stretcher spotters to see.

I try it next in the down position. It is now completely invisible. Can't sit down or pick anything up but for anyone who spends their day just standing around, the down position would work fine. I need to sit to work so I flip the jig up. I try sitting back in the chair. For some reason today it works. I can feel the springs compress in response to the increased tension. I check the tension settings. In full upright seated position the tension is almost 1200 grams. I go to an online metric converter and learn the 1200 grams is equal to a little less than 3 pounds. Doesn't seem like that much until I remember the 3 pound bag of apples I bought the other day and it hits me. I'm hanging a three pound bag of apples off my dick! It doesn't take long before the pain begins. At first it's just a whisper, then a nagging annoyance. Finally it starts to shriek and I can't think enough to work. I take it off. The underside of my glans is red and sore.

So far, over two days, I've worn this thing a total of 6 hours. Ultimately I'm supposed to wear it for 12 hours a day. Is that even possible? According to the instruction booklet, 12 hours per day for 2 months is equal to 2 hours a day for 12 months. I vaguely recollect that this is the commutative principle. Feeling very mathematical I calculate how much my dick has grown thus far. According to the booklet I should be .0075 inches longer. According to Kinsey the average male is 6.22 inches erect. That means I should be bigger than average in less than a month. I guess we'll see.

WEEK ONE - DAY THREE

My penis is still sore. I forgo the torture device for the day.

Thanks to ProExtender for making this device available for review.

Catch up with all the episodes of Paul's Extender Perils...

Episode 1
The Journey Begins

Episode 2
The Whimpering Penis

Episode 3
A Swinging Dick

Episode 4
Malfunction!

Episode 5
Spare Part Blues

Episode 6
A Warning To All Dick Stretcher Wearers

Episode 7
Of Tubes And Tension

Episode 8
The Quarterly State Of The Penis Report

Episode 9
The Angst Of Travel

Episode 10
The Fine Art Of Urination In Traction

Episode 11
Stretching Claims A Casualty

Episode 12
Enlarger Malfunction Letting It All Hang Out
Episode 13
Penis Traction Finally Pays Some Dividends

Episode 14
The Strange Case Of The Missing Inches

Episode 15
Extender Tips For Newbies

Episode 16
The Second Quarterly State Of The Penis Report

Episode 17
Penis Meets Belly Button: A Stretching Landmark

Episode 18
Managing A Dick-Stretcher Malfunction

Episode 19
Wherefore Art Thou Huge Penis?

Episode 20
Dereliction Of Dick-Stretching Duties

Episode 21
Annual State Of The Penis Report



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