Hello everyone, I'm new here and just looking for some help. As my name suggests I'm 21 and have yet to have a girlfriend mostly due to my penis size. I've had my share of opportunities to have a girlfriend and/or sex but have never been able to get over my anxiety. I'm a perfectionist and have never been able to live up to my physical ideals. Nothing is ever good enough for me, I'm 1 inch too short (in regards to body height), too skinny, not handsome enough, and of course don't possess my idea of a perfect penis.
Hello RC21.
Welcome.
These are my thoughts on your problem, based on a much longer life than yours and much more experience.
Until you realise that nothing in life is 'perfect', no matter what it is, because 'perfection' does not exist in actuality, you are going to get no where with anything.
"I'm 1 inch too short (in regards to body height), too skinny, not handsome enough, and of course don't possess my idea of a perfect penis". Judged against what? Where do you get your ideas of perfection from? For every guy who is taller than you there is a guy shorter than you, for every guy better build is one skinnier, for every guy ............ there is one ............
And what in God's name is a perfect penis? Where did you get your idea of what constitutes one of those?
Any penis, of any shape, size, colour, whatever is useless if it's owner doesn't know how to 'use it' - not only for his pleasure but also his partner - so who judges its 'perfection', its owner or its 'receiver'?
The reason that you haven't had a girlfriend isn't because of your penis size but because of your anxiety about it.
If none have ever 'had it', or even seen it, how do you know that it wouldn't have been their idea of perfection? It is their ideal that matters not yours.
I've heard the typical responses that size doesn't matter and it what you do with that counts. Well let tell you it does matter. I'm the youngest of three children (two older sisters) and raised by a single mother. These three women who have raised me and had a tremendious influence on my life were far from shy about expressing their adoration of well endowed men. If they did have the "unfortunate" experience of being with a smaller man they would laugh and talk trash on him to all their friends. They would never leave the smaller man because he was still useful for buying them dinners and clothes but they wouldn't have sex with them ever again. Instead relying on their well endowed "man on the side" to take care of their needs.
Have you ever thought that the 'typical answer' that size doesn't matter and its "what you do with it that matters" is typical because it is true?
Have you read through all the female answers in this Forum alone? If you have you will find that answer every time.
It doesn't matter how big your penis is if you can't use it satisfactorily (for both) it is useless.
If you just look at it as a tool, then a tool is only as good as the skills of the person using it.
Sometimes the bigger the tool the more danger there is that in unskilled hands it can do more damage.
Time and again you will read posts from females that they have experienced pain and discomfort from large penis' but you will find none, or very very few where they complain about dissatisfaction with more 'average' ones.
Having said that
some (not all) women do prefer 'endowed' men, just as some men have preferences in/for the women that attract them.
I find it hard to believe about your female relatives - in their universal preferences and their attitude to saying such things and saying them openly, not only in front of you but to each other.
With due respect I cannot help but wonder if their attitude towards men was not in some psychological way influenced by what initially caused your mother to be a single mother.
I wonder if their 'trashing' of men was influenced by this and if 'endowment', or lack of it, was just an easy way of expressing this because most men are not 'endowed' and therefore they could 'trash' most men.
I also personally think that their 'using' of men was psychologically influenced by your mothers earlier experience.
Lots of those who have been 'used' become 'users' in revenge, lots of those who have been 'cheated' on become 'cheaters' in their turn to 'get their own back' for what was done to them.
My feelings of inferiority have even lead me to experiment with penis enlargement techniques and devices. Starting with manual stretches and jelqs and now hanging weights from my penis. The only thing I've experienced from all my efforts is discoloration which is now another source of anxiety.
You've already proved it to yourself - such thing are useless, even harmful.
The thing you need to work on, to stretch and enlarge is your mind.
Forget your physical attributes (including your penis), your ideals and the environment you grew up in and open your eyes and look around you at the real world.
Do you honestly think that all the guys with girlfriends are well endowed?
Do you honestly think that all the women you see with men are just with them to get what they can out of them?
Do you honestly think that all the happy families you see are living a lie?
Do you honestly think that all the 'perfect' men you see in ads, on TV, in films are leading happy, perfect lives?
Do you honestly think such men are 'real'? They are acting a part and have as many problems and hang-ups as anybody else, maybe even more.
My issues do not only revolve around size but also performance and lack of experience. It seems that everyone has already done so much sexually at my age and now I'm just too far behind.
First issue to resolve is size - if its not smaller than a finger or your tongue its irrelevant. Things of such size can bring women to states of ecstasy.
Second issue to resolve is performance - that only comes from experience and your attitude to your partners needs and not just yours.
Third issue to resolve is experience - you won't get any unless you forget, or get over, your
unfounded hang-ups get on with life and get some.
To state the obvious - Only doing things will give you experience of those things.
You might falter, you might even fail a few times but until you try and eventually succeed you wont get experience.
Nobody is born with experience, we all have to learn and go through all the uncertainties and difficulties but we all eventually get there but we have to do it by our own efforts.
One of my 'epic' postings and my own personal feelings.
Hope it helps.
Good luck.
JipTu.