Hi all,
After a three year gap Im back on the dating scene. I can put a good date together - keep conversation going, listen hard, keep the jokes going etc BUT there are two things I never got to grips with and I wonder if anyone can point me in the right direction?
1) I find it hard to end a date!! I need a polite way to end things after a shortish amount of time!!! How do I say "ok that's enough for today I'm going home" without sounding ....errrr.....like that! What's my polite exit!!!
2) How to end a relationship and at what point? I am just out of a long term relationship and have no great desire to find a wife (although if Miss perfect turns up then so be it)! I am conscious of the idea that women aren't keen for me to sleep with them and then vanish! However I am also aware that a fair few women must want a short term relationship that involves sex but not being Fuck buddies (which I have always thought was just a female tactic to lever a man in to a relationship)! My question I guess is how do I pitch the concept of a 'let's see how it goes' type of relationship to a woman and at what point is dropping a relationship a shitty thing to do I.e do I need to end it before having sex?
Everything makes me feel guilty and guilt kills me + I genuinely don't want to upset anyone!!
I have always thought there was more of a dating culture in the US and as such you might have more of a system!!!
Any ideas guys and gals?? Especially gals as its you that ultimately deals with it!!!
I just told a girl I didn't want to see her anymore by txt and she seemed ok with it!! We had played around with each other on a drunken night out and had one date!! So as such I suspect she wasn't too involved!! I still felt guilty though!!!
Polite exit? How about treating your date with a little respect and carry the date to it's conclusion. It sounds like you made the dare based on the container and not the contents! You made the date, see it through with honor, grace and respect.
Miss perfect? There *IS* no such being. Just as there is no perfect man! If that's what you are looking for then you are perpetuating the constant struggle between the sexes.
I loath this "fuck buddy" philosophy. Maybe it's my antiquated belief that sex is the secondary part of the relationship. Second thing I hate about this fuck buddy concept is the outright LIE it strengthens. You go out on your date, and don't get "lucky" so what do you do? Call FuckBusters. Really now. In my day and age they called that having a whore on the side. Don't believe me? Go listen to Sandra Fluke demanding the federal government pay for her birth control. THAT, gentlemen and ladies, is a whore on the side.
As for dropping the relationship and the proper time to do so? Well, I would say that after the second date you should know pretty well whether you mesh with the woman or not. So what are you stringing her along for? A shot at those massive knockers? A grab at that bubble butt? Perhaps a little honesty with yourself might be in order? I dunno, I'm just saying.... you should know after the second date tops. The bigger point is that you should, out of respect and the knowledge that women are using sex as a tool (or a weapon), end it as soon as you realize it's not gonna work. This is a double edged sword though... You need to be more selective if you are going through THAT many women!
Guilt is either justified be abhorrent behavior or a sign that you are not convinced of your moral stance. Yes, I muttered that horrid word that the secular progressive assholes hate. MORALS DO DICTATE YOUR BEHAVIOR DAMNIT! And if you are lacking of strong moral footing then you have GUILT!
Oh and ere is an old coot hint.... QUIT FUCKING TESTING YOUR BREAKUPS! It's rude, it's callous, it's cowardly! Man up and face the piper. You paid for the song, finish the dance.... FACE-TO-FACE! (and end it after the second date)