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#36682 - 05/18/12 01:22 PM Re: Being Blunt [Re: lilmissnaughty]
Groovin Offline
journeyman

Registered: 01/30/11
Posts: 64
Loc: Maine
Originally Posted By: lilmissnaughty
LOL,
Funny thing is,, I talk "dirty" all the time, (perticularly fun in public places, said just loud enough for DH to hear me)
But talking dirty & saying what I "want" dosent seem to fall into the same catigory for me,


I for one encourage you to continue practicing in this forum!

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#37565 - 12/09/12 04:23 AM Re: Being Blunt [Re: lilmissnaughty]
gamer_reg Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 07/01/10
Posts: 222
Originally Posted By: lilmissnaughty
Ive always had a problem exspressing what I want, when I want it.. Now dont get me wrong.. im not shy or prudish.. But when it comes down to just flat out telling my man what I want.. I have issues.. Im not even good at hinting cause I feel I just sound silly (hush up, I know mentally thats not relivant but I still get that feeling)
Anyways my sex drive has recently taken a bit of a boost (I think due to some diet changes etc that have just been making me feel better altogether)
And ive just been feeling more. hmmmm I cant really describe it.. more Forward? and the other day I finally thought.. you know what.. I want X X X today & the only way im gonna get it is if I tell DH.
So next time DH walked in the house, I walked up to him, looked him straight in the eyes and said...

I want sex tonight, I want you to tie me up, blindfold me and suck my pussy till I cant stand it any more & then I want you to fuck me catatonic.& Now im going to go make dinner...

Now I hear men saying that their women dont tell them what they want & I think the point is that for some of us women, its not that we dont want to tell you what we want, sometimes we simply dont know what we want, or if we do, how to exspress it. Or we feel were going to hurt your feelings if we tell you "your doing it wrong" .
Often we give lots of hints that we think are freaking obvious & then get discouraged when you guys are totally oblivious. Only to us it just seems like you dont really care/arnt listing to what were "saying" so im not sure were I was going with this only that maybe if your woman isent telling you what she wants.. well maybe she is, she simply isent able to do in man-english wink



If you have a problem expressing what you want then perhaps ther3e is a conflict with your morality and the act?

That's not unusual though. Women are not encouraged to express their desires in our society. If they do they are a slut and a whore. Right? Is that how you were raised?

Or perhaps you don't know the man well enough and have not developed the trust bond that would allow you to KNOW that he will go for it? Oooo, there's a raw nerve right? Rejection.

I think you have a problem with expressing your desires because deep down inside you fear rejection. Welcome to the MALE world of "Should I or Shouldn't I". You probably were raised to view the desire of being fucked comatose as wrong. You might even have been raised to believe that anything outside missionary on Saturday Night is wrong.

OF COURSE you are giving off signals that men haven't a clue of. For crying out loud, we are STILL trying to figure out why you women go to the bathroom in groups!

If you want something then ask for it. You are obviously afraid of the consequences. That tells me that MIGHT have a problem in accepting the consequences of your actions??

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#37568 - 12/09/12 10:35 AM Re: Being Blunt [Re: lilmissnaughty]
lilmissnaughty Offline
veteran

Registered: 06/21/10
Posts: 821
Loc: scotland
Its kinda sad that you have that sort of a response to what I posted.. & no, your not even close.

No morality conflict, I was raised with the mindset that sex is a perfectly natural thing & should be enjoyed (consenting adults of course)

Slut/Whore, nope.. .. Meh.... to me a slut/whore is someone who sleeps around indiscriminately & with no regard to health/safety of persons involved.. & that's not exclusive to women.

I know "the man" very well. Ive been married to him for 10 years. & No, Im not afraid of rejection.. If I was id stop pestering him for sex all the time (hes got a much lower sex drive than I do) I get turned down often enough that if fear of rejection was an issue I would have given up a long time ago.

I dont have a fear of expressing myself at all, & I'm all for being f*cked comatose on a regular basses, I talk "dirty" to him all the time. even in public. But its not the talking dirty or being vocal in bed that's the issue.. (he keeps threatening to get a ball gag so I don't disturb the neighbors) Im not in the least bit afraid of asking for what I want... I just dont seem to be able to translate that into practice.

I think the biggest problem is that im the type of person that, instead of explaining to someone else how to do something.. Ill just do it myself. & so ive never really been good at articulating my wishes/demands out loud....

Which of course dosent work well when it comes to sex... well at least not when there's a partner involved.
But my issue isent really to do with sex.. Its to do with explaining what I want so its understood....

& I never go to the bathroom in groups....that's just.. weird.. like what? you need a support group to pee???


_________________________
TheBigBadWolf jumped out "I'm going to screw your brains out!" Red Riding yelled,"No you're not! You're going to eat me, like it says in the book!"

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#174561 - 04/19/14 10:14 AM Re: Being Blunt [Re: lilmissnaughty]
RaceCarrington Offline
stranger

Registered: 04/18/14
Posts: 11
Loc: Canada
Hmm interesting. I think it's hard for men to tell women what they like too. I had the nerve years ago to tell a woman that I would enjoy oral and she thought I was the biggest perv in the world, so I never again told any woman what I like in bed. I think there are allot of women that think all they have to do to satisfy a guy is to show up and lay on their back.
I probably miss allot of hints, I have a hard time having sex and thinking at the same time lol

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#174629 - 04/25/14 06:11 AM Re: Being Blunt [Re: lilmissnaughty]
JipTu Offline
old hand

Registered: 05/14/11
Posts: 693
Loc: Yorks UK
This is why I prefer 'mature/experienced' women - for their honesty.
I like a woman who knows what she wants/likes and isn't afraid to say so.
I fuck/make love for the pleasure & satisfaction of us both and if she ain't getting either then I want to know why - so I can 'rectify' it then she/I can.

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