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#28169 - 10/06/10 05:40 AM Women feeling threatened by groups of men
OlderMan Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 04/03/10
Posts: 1447
Instead of highjacking the thread on being scanned up and down, I thought I'd start a new one. There was an interesting idea Firefly brought up that Carole and others continued with: that is of women feeling threatened by a man or groups of men, particularly younger rowdy men.

I am in an occupation largely populated by men, and they are type A men who love women. When in groups, I think we have generally behaved respectfully toward women. Flirty, but respectful. Hopefully not boorish.

However, I have also been places like sports events or bars or beaches where I have seen this behavior from men. I hate when men threaten women and I totally understand that a woman in public is often protective of herself, maybe even to the detriment of her enjoyment of being out. When I see a man or men threaten a woman or women with their behavior, it turns me instantly into a protector of that woman or those women.

Do you girls find this behavior often? How does it make you feel? When do you feel safe and when not? Do you like being protected by men you don't know who insert themselves in that role, either by calming their own group or by physically protecting you and perhaps confronting another man?
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A lusty, turned-on woman in full roar is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

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#28176 - 10/06/10 11:23 AM Re: Women feeling threatened by groups of men [Re: OlderMan]
BethG Offline
member

Registered: 09/30/10
Posts: 165
Loc: Angry Leprechaun, Hoosierland
I'm interested in the what the younger gals might say. I've reached that point in life where I'm pretty much invisible to any man under 30.

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#28178 - 10/06/10 01:44 PM Re: Women feeling threatened by groups of men [Re: OlderMan]
CaroleTucson Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 09/25/09
Posts: 1831
Loc: Tucson, AZ
Originally Posted By: OlderMan
Do you girls find this behavior often? How does it make you feel? When do you feel safe and when not? Do you like being protected by men you don't know who insert themselves in that role, either by calming their own group or by physically protecting you and perhaps confronting another man?


If you're talking about situations where I actually feel threatened, then no, it doesn't happen often. For one thing, I'm not often in a situation like that alone, and besides, most men are perfectly fine. A bunch of rowdies at a football game may annoy the crap out of me, but I don't fear for my safety from them. The more isolated the scenario, the scarier.

Alcohol is a factor. Any group of men who have been drinking would make me nervous. I told a story on here some months ago about encountering a group of men on a dirt road out in the boonies. They'd been drinking and a few of them made crude remarks. That really scared me because one of them could have followed me and I had no place to escape to.

(ps--It's not just women who fear this type of situation. A drunken group of rednecks is threatening to anyone who isn't part of their group, whether it's a gay man or a hippie-type or someone from a different ethnic background.)

Gang-type attacks happen, but most assaults against women are carried out by lone men. I go on a little higher alert when I see a lone man who seems to be paying more attention to me than normal.

This is not to give the impression I walk around in constant fear. Only one man in a million is a psychopathic rapist. It's mostly a matter of being aware and avoiding certain types of situations. For that matter, if we want to talk about violence against women, husbands and boyfriends are statistically much more likely to commit these kinds of crimes. But that's another issue.

Originally Posted By: BethG
I've reached that point in life where I'm pretty much invisible to any man under 30.


I find I get more attention from young men now than ever before. I have no idea why. Maybe there's more attention being given to the "cougar" thing now, and they think they'll get some of it. It's possible too, that I'm totally misinterpreting their interest, but I don't think so. My daughters point it out to me. "Mom, that guy was so checking you out." It makes me chuckle.


Edited by CaroleTucson (10/06/10 02:13 PM)
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When they asked me, "when are you coming home?", I answered, "when they stop building roads."

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#28189 - 10/06/10 04:33 PM Re: Women feeling threatened by groups of men [Re: CaroleTucson]
Thonger Offline
old hand

Registered: 01/07/10
Posts: 551
One thing I am cognizant of is walking behind a girl, especially in a vulnerable spot like a parking lot or lonely trail. I've noticed some girls being nervous when I walk close behind them, so I try and slow down and fall back, or speed up and pass them. I think they prefer it when I pass them because then they don't have to do the discreet backward glances. Also, I try and make some noise so as not to be stealthy.

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#28192 - 10/06/10 04:58 PM Re: Women feeling threatened by groups of men [Re: Thonger]
CaroleTucson Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 09/25/09
Posts: 1831
Loc: Tucson, AZ
Originally Posted By: Thonger
Also, I try and make some noise so as not to be stealthy.


And women really appreciate it when men do that.

I remember one time in particular walking on a sidewalk in a residential area. A man gained on me from behind and I never noticed him, even though he said he was purposely making extra noise to alert me.

He scared me really bad for a second. He apologized profusely and it was ok, but it made me uneasy to think that I was so preoccupied that I didn't hear him.

_________________________
When they asked me, "when are you coming home?", I answered, "when they stop building roads."

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#28238 - 10/06/10 08:59 PM Re: Women feeling threatened by groups of men [Re: CaroleTucson]
Thonger Offline
old hand

Registered: 01/07/10
Posts: 551
*cough*cough*
*jingle*jingle*
*stomp*stomp*


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#28252 - 10/06/10 09:15 PM Re: Women feeling threatened by groups of men [Re: Thonger]
CaroleTucson Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 09/25/09
Posts: 1831
Loc: Tucson, AZ
Aha! I thought that was you back there, Thonger! grin
_________________________
When they asked me, "when are you coming home?", I answered, "when they stop building roads."

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#28253 - 10/06/10 09:16 PM Re: Women feeling threatened by groups of men [Re: CaroleTucson]
Thonger Offline
old hand

Registered: 01/07/10
Posts: 551
Er, I was just rearranging the coins in my pocket....

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#28262 - 10/06/10 09:25 PM Re: Women feeling threatened by groups of men [Re: Thonger]
CaroleTucson Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 09/25/09
Posts: 1831
Loc: Tucson, AZ
You mean that roll of quarters in your pocket?
_________________________
When they asked me, "when are you coming home?", I answered, "when they stop building roads."

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#28263 - 10/06/10 09:26 PM Re: Women feeling threatened by groups of men [Re: CaroleTucson]
Thonger Offline
old hand

Registered: 01/07/10
Posts: 551
Oh, you noticed?

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