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#26603 - 09/19/10 09:08 PM Re: What do you consider desperate? [Re: GreyWolf]
RiverHead Offline
old hand

Registered: 07/31/10
Posts: 437
Loc: United States
Originally Posted By: GreyWolf
Do you want it to be fixed?


Yes, I do want things to change. I'm tired of being sad, and lonely. I'm tired of self doubt. Self doubt is one of the worst feelings one can have...

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#26632 - 09/20/10 12:57 AM Re: What do you consider desperate? [Re: RiverHead]
Firefly Offline
Esteemed Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 4086
Loc: United States
Self doubt is also something that most of us have felt in our lives. I think its pretty common actually. The trick is to not make it into a lifestyle.
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#26633 - 09/20/10 01:18 AM Re: What do you consider desperate? [Re: RiverHead]
GreyWolf Offline
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Registered: 08/18/10
Posts: 429
Originally Posted By: Riverhead
Yes, I do want things to change. I'm tired of being sad, and lonely. I'm tired of self doubt. Self doubt is one of the worst feelings one can have...


Riverhead,

Do you know who the only person is that can truly alter the paralyzing negative effects of self-doubt?

gw
_________________________
What if there were no hypothetical questions?

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#26636 - 09/20/10 01:26 AM Re: What do you consider desperate? [Re: GreyWolf]
RiverHead Offline
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Registered: 07/31/10
Posts: 437
Loc: United States
Yes, but after 35+ years of this, I don't know if I can...

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#26641 - 09/20/10 01:35 AM Re: What do you consider desperate? [Re: RiverHead]
Firefly Offline
Esteemed Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 4086
Loc: United States
If you believe you can't... then you can't. Our thoughts shape who we are. I literally changed many aspect of my life by changing my thoughts. We program ourselves like a computer and play the same messages over and over. The more we do it.. the more we believe it. The message can be changed-- but you've got to change it.. and you've got to keep working at changing it.

It doesn't change overnight, so you do have to keep at it. Learn to stop some thoughts in their tracks and learn to program better thoughts in.. and life gets a whole a lot better.
_________________________
Decide. Commit. Succeed.

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#26648 - 09/20/10 01:47 AM Re: What do you consider desperate? [Re: RiverHead]
GreyWolf Offline
old hand

Registered: 08/18/10
Posts: 429
Originally Posted By: RiverHead
Yes, but after 35+ years of this, I don't know if I can...


Riverhead,

I know you can.

You may doubt yourself, but do you doubt me as well?

gw
_________________________
What if there were no hypothetical questions?

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#26752 - 09/20/10 09:36 PM Re: What do you consider desperate? [Re: GreyWolf]
RiverHead Offline
old hand

Registered: 07/31/10
Posts: 437
Loc: United States
It's me that I doubt. I don't doubt that you believe I can change, but I have doubts that I can before it's too late.

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#26769 - 09/21/10 02:23 AM Re: What do you consider desperate? [Re: RiverHead]
GreyWolf Offline
old hand

Registered: 08/18/10
Posts: 429
Originally Posted By: RiverHead
It's me that I doubt. I don't doubt that you believe I can change, but I have doubts that I can before it's too late.


Riverhead,

Read the above again very carefully.

You're saying that you doubt your ability to overcome self doubt.

That is what's called a vicious circle. It leads to a downward spiral.

But it can seem deceptively comforting to you. After all, you've dealt with this for 35 years. You don't like it but in some ways it is like an old friend. It's the devil you know.

It is the same thing that keeps abused spouses and children devoted to their tormentors. Haven't you read of women or children who after years of abuse never broke free and were eventually beaten to death or worse.

You are being gripped by the same circular chains.

If you want to, REALLY WANT TO beak free. You have to come to a point where you turn around and face your tormentor (self doubt) head on. I know it's not easy. I know it can be damn frightening. Beleive me I know. But I also know you can beat this.

If you don't want to do it alone you can seek professional help or keep reaching out to us here.

I'll help you any way I can.

gw


"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"

_________________________
What if there were no hypothetical questions?

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#26829 - 09/22/10 02:01 AM Re: What do you consider desperate? [Re: GreyWolf]
RiverHead Offline
old hand

Registered: 07/31/10
Posts: 437
Loc: United States
I doubt that I will seek anymore professional help. It hadn't helped in the past, it costs more than I can afford, and it's too time consuming. I really don't accept that psychotherapy actually works anyway. As many people say it doesn't, as say it does.


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#26830 - 09/22/10 02:03 AM Re: What do you consider desperate? [Re: RiverHead]
GreyWolf Offline
old hand

Registered: 08/18/10
Posts: 429
Then you have another option.

That is, if you really want things to change.

gw
_________________________
What if there were no hypothetical questions?

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