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#24582 - 08/21/10 05:49 AM What do you consider desperate?
gamer_reg Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 07/01/10
Posts: 222
It's been mentioned in another thread that women don't want a man, among other things, that is "desperate". This made me stop and think.

What do you think of when you put the words desperate and man together?

What makes a man appear as desperate?

What does a woman, or another man for that matter, think makes another man desperate?

To kick things off I will say that obviously the first thing people are going to think when they hear "Desperate man" is he's hasn't had sex in a length of time so if that's your thought I will ask, how long does it take for a man to be considered desperate? What do YOU think X would be if you were to define the statement "A man is desperate for sex if he's been X without it."

If you think it is a bit more platonic that just the physical "need" then what would you say makes a man desperate for love on a platonic level? Do you even THINK men NEED love on a platonic level or do you think it's always about sex for the guy?

This ought to open up some interesting responses. I look forward to seeing the replies.

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#24587 - 08/21/10 01:04 PM Re: What do you consider desperate? [Re: gamer_reg]
Graham Offline
veteran

Registered: 08/14/09
Posts: 856
desperation signs would be pestering somebody for dates when they are clearly not interested. Like texting too much, calling too much. Asking every woman in a club out. Things like that.

Another is obviously looking stressed or too pushy during a first date. Also, telling a new date or potential date about all your problems and lack of success. Most women like a confident, but not arrogant guy. So projecting an impression of a happy, successful life with or without her, is pretty important. Getting too emotional too quickly can be a mistake for guys or women, because it looks desperate. Those feelings need to be controlled until later in the relationship. Because at worst, she'll dump you, and most likely she'll just take advantage of that and treat you badly.

You might want to ask this question on Aphrodite (our sister forum) because you'll probably get a lot of more response from women.
_________________________
it's better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all. Carpe Diem!

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#24590 - 08/21/10 01:46 PM Re: What do you consider desperate? [Re: Graham]
GreyWolf Offline
old hand

Registered: 08/18/10
Posts: 429
Graham is right, G_R.

I can tell you what (IMHO) is definitely not perceived to be desperate by the ladies.

It is an attitude of contentment and calm. Not quite aloof but more of a "what happens happens and is no big deal".

There was a time in my life when I had no confidence in myself when it came the ladies and I believed I had no reason to have any.

I decided to just give up on the goal but not the pursuit of it. The almost immediate change in my results was astounding.

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What if there were no hypothetical questions?

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#24591 - 08/21/10 02:02 PM Re: What do you consider desperate? [Re: GreyWolf]
skinback Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 07/15/10
Posts: 384
Loc: United States
TS, you're exactly right on this. Worst case scenario for someone to be classed as desperate, a guy talking about getting married on a first date, or even just a first meeting (especially the woe is me I'll never get married conversation), guaranteed to send women (and nearly all men) running for the hills.

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#24593 - 08/21/10 03:37 PM Re: What do you consider desperate? [Re: skinback]
Graham Offline
veteran

Registered: 08/14/09
Posts: 856
a good word is "indifference". I've slept with quite a few women by being indifferent, or even reluctant, about sleeping with them. It drives them nuts. I think they expect a man to be foaming at the mouth (desperate) to get into their secret place. So when I'm not like that it does their heads in and makes them try harder.
_________________________
it's better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all. Carpe Diem!

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#24608 - 08/21/10 11:30 PM Re: What do you consider desperate? [Re: Graham]
OlderMan Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 04/03/10
Posts: 1447
That's why playing hard to get works, for either sex. It makes the chase more of a challenge. Just don't play too hard to get...
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A lusty, turned-on woman in full roar is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

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#24611 - 08/22/10 01:16 AM Re: What do you consider desperate? [Re: gamer_reg]
JDANG Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 09/27/09
Posts: 1857
Well, speaking from experience (eh-ehm!)....

I think a guy appears desperate when he pays a little too much attention to a girl, and kind'a makes himself too available and not a challenge at all. Wishy-washy, I suppose, is another way of describing it.



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#24612 - 08/22/10 01:19 AM Re: What do you consider desperate? [Re: GreyWolf]
JDANG Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 09/27/09
Posts: 1857
Originally Posted By: Tom Sawyer


There was a time in my life when I had no confidence in myself when it came the ladies and I believed I had no reason to have any.

I decided to just give up on the goal but not the pursuit of it. The almost immediate change in my results was astounding.



Dude, you and I were living parallel lives at one time!

It was astonishing how things improved as soon as I said, "Screw this! I give up! What will be will be... trying too hard ain't getting me anywhere!".


Edited by JDANG (08/22/10 01:20 AM)

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#24677 - 08/24/10 12:13 AM Re: What do you consider desperate? [Re: OlderMan]
gamer_reg Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 07/01/10
Posts: 222
Originally Posted By: OlderMan
That's why playing hard to get works, for either sex. It makes the chase more of a challenge. Just don't play too hard to get...


Well Playing hard to get only works if you got somebody that could be interested in you. It's not worked for me.

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#24679 - 08/24/10 12:14 AM Re: What do you consider desperate? [Re: JDANG]
gamer_reg Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 07/01/10
Posts: 222
Originally Posted By: JDANG
Originally Posted By: Tom Sawyer


There was a time in my life when I had no confidence in myself when it came the ladies and I believed I had no reason to have any.

I decided to just give up on the goal but not the pursuit of it. The almost immediate change in my results was astounding.



Dude, you and I were living parallel lives at one time!

It was astonishing how things improved as soon as I said, "Screw this! I give up! What will be will be... trying too hard ain't getting me anywhere!".


Funny thing here. I said screw this and gave up and nothing changed. Same today as it was 12 years ago. I'm a great FRIEND but that's it!

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