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#19961 - 04/08/10 07:38 PM Re: Being a man and showing it. [Re: Firefly]
CaroleTucson Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 09/25/09
Posts: 1831
Loc: Tucson, AZ
Originally Posted By: Firefly
I think some men find it really sexy to think that they got an accidental peek at more then they expected.


Exactly!! One of the keys to showing off is making it unexpected, and making it look like you're showing more than you really are.
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When they asked me, "when are you coming home?", I answered, "when they stop building roads."

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#19962 - 04/08/10 07:40 PM Re: Being a man and showing it. [Re: Firefly]
CaroleTucson Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 09/25/09
Posts: 1831
Loc: Tucson, AZ
Originally Posted By: Firefly
I've read that men tend to overestimate female sexual interest-- and that women tend to underestimate male sexual interest.


A related note ... I've also read that men tend to believe more in "love at first sight", or at least "lust at first sight", than women do.

Personally, I've never experienced anything remotely resembling "love at first sight".

"Lust at first sight"? Eh, maybe a little. But not like men do, I don't think.
_________________________
When they asked me, "when are you coming home?", I answered, "when they stop building roads."

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#19965 - 04/08/10 07:58 PM Re: Being a man and showing it. [Re: Firefly]
Thonger Offline
old hand

Registered: 01/07/10
Posts: 551
Originally Posted By: Firefly

I've read that men tend to overestimate female sexual interest-- and that women tend to underestimate male sexual interest. So if men overestimate interest-- then why can they be so boneheaded about obvious interest?! Its a connundrum.


Speaking for myself, I think I downplay these signs of female interest because sometimes it turns out to be false. Maybe it's just lack of self confidence for me. As an example, I once met this girl at an event and she showed many of those signs of interest. Lots of looking into my eyes, she spent a lot of time with me even though there were a lot of people at this event, touching of my arm, (seductive?) smiles, etc. She even asked if we could go to the bar and have a quieter drink rather than the free drinks at the hosted event. At the end of the evening, we were looking into each others eyes and I felt an urge to kiss her, but she just said "bye" and turned away. The next day, I called her and got the brush off. Boy, how could I have read all that so wrong????? Whatever confidence I had was shattered at that point.

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#19968 - 04/08/10 08:02 PM Re: Being a man and showing it. [Re: Thonger]
Firefly Offline
Esteemed Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 4087
Loc: United States
Yeah-- thats part of the problem. Knowing if its real or just playfulness. I can see how that can be confusing. But the thing is-- a man... the same man... can totally miss very obvious signals from a woman, while thinking some other women thats just said "hi" to him is interested. Could it be wishful thinking?
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#19970 - 04/08/10 08:07 PM Re: Being a man and showing it. [Re: Firefly]
Thonger Offline
old hand

Registered: 01/07/10
Posts: 551
Life would be so much simpler if we were still cavemen (cavepeople?). We'd just go "Ugh, you, in bed now!" No misinterpreting that! wink

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#19972 - 04/08/10 10:19 PM Re: Being a man and showing it. [Re: CaroleTucson]
JDANG Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 09/27/09
Posts: 1857
Originally Posted By: CaroleTucson
Lifting your arms to raise up your top and expose a little bit of tummy is a good one.


That's the one that gets my attention the most. crazy

The body contact one is a good one, too. I knew a girl who flirted with me BIG time. When we were around each other, she was always touching my arm and keeping it there for longer than a split second or so. Nothing ever happened with us, though (in retrospect, thankfully). I guess she was just a tease.... or maybe she was just comfortable with me. confused

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#19974 - 04/08/10 10:40 PM Re: Being a man and showing it. [Re: Thonger]
CaroleTucson Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 09/25/09
Posts: 1831
Loc: Tucson, AZ
Originally Posted By: Thonger
Life would be so much simpler if we were still cavemen (cavepeople?). We'd just go "Ugh, you, in bed now!" No misinterpreting that! wink


No misinterpreting "ugh ... how you like rock up your nose?" either ... lol
_________________________
When they asked me, "when are you coming home?", I answered, "when they stop building roads."

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#19975 - 04/08/10 10:46 PM Re: Being a man and showing it. [Re: JDANG]
CaroleTucson Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 09/25/09
Posts: 1831
Loc: Tucson, AZ
Originally Posted By: JDANG
I guess she was just a tease.... or maybe she was just comfortable with me. confused


Could have been a little of both. How old was she? When you first discover the power of flirtation, it can go to your head.

That's why I think female body language needs to be viewed with an eye toward her age and general maturity level.

If a woman my age, for example, touched you like that and pressed her breasts against you and so forth, I think you could feel a lot more confident in what she was signaling.
_________________________
When they asked me, "when are you coming home?", I answered, "when they stop building roads."

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#19977 - 04/08/10 10:50 PM Re: Being a man and showing it. [Re: Thonger]
JDANG Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 09/27/09
Posts: 1857
Originally Posted By: Thonger
Originally Posted By: Firefly

I've read that men tend to overestimate female sexual interest-- and that women tend to underestimate male sexual interest. So if men overestimate interest-- then why can they be so boneheaded about obvious interest?! Its a connundrum.


Speaking for myself, I think I downplay these signs of female interest because sometimes it turns out to be false. Maybe it's just lack of self confidence for me. As an example, I once met this girl at an event and she showed many of those signs of interest. Lots of looking into my eyes, she spent a lot of time with me even though there were a lot of people at this event, touching of my arm, (seductive?) smiles, etc. She even asked if we could go to the bar and have a quieter drink rather than the free drinks at the hosted event. At the end of the evening, we were looking into each others eyes and I felt an urge to kiss her, but she just said "bye" and turned away. The next day, I called her and got the brush off. Boy, how could I have read all that so wrong????? Whatever confidence I had was shattered at that point.


"Glad" I am not the only one who has been duped like that!

I would have to agree.... in my personal experience, I (as a male) have always over-estimated female sexual interest, and many of the females who I thought were showing interest in me were apparently under-estimating my interest in them.

Ugh! crazy

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#19978 - 04/08/10 10:51 PM Re: Being a man and showing it. [Re: CaroleTucson]
JDANG Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 09/27/09
Posts: 1857
Originally Posted By: CaroleTucson
Originally Posted By: JDANG
I guess she was just a tease.... or maybe she was just comfortable with me. confused


Could have been a little of both. How old was she? When you first discover the power of flirtation, it can go to your head.

That's why I think female body language needs to be viewed with an eye toward her age and general maturity level.

If a woman my age, for example, touched you like that and pressed her breasts against you and so forth, I think you could feel a lot more confident in what she was signaling.


Well, I have to admit... she was a little younger than me. But not necessarily "young". She was 30 when we met.


Edited by JDANG (04/08/10 10:52 PM)

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