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#12694 - 08/18/09 01:21 PM Re: Girls; Unwanted Erection Poll [Re: Firefly]
Graham Offline
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Registered: 08/14/09
Posts: 856
that is kinda weird. I've never had that problem. It takes a lot more than just looking at a girl to give me a boner. Of course, a dance with her, especially if it was close would cause that, but by that point she's probably already interested in me.

If I happened to have a boner already (from some stray fantasy in my head, for example) I wouldn't approach a girl until I'd calmed down.

To "italian stallion": of course guys can and do pick up girls in bars and clubs. All my long relationships, and many very short ones, started with girls I met in bars and clubs. Including my first wife (a bar) and my current girlfriend (a danceclub). I really like to dance, so I find that's a great way to meet girls. If I don't meet one then it's no big deal because I still enjoyed the music and dancing.

Also, all my long relationships started with sex on the first date. I figure if a girl doesn't have sex with me on the first date, then she's really not into me.

My tip is not to get a boner until you've had at least one dance and/or a couple of drinks with her. If you do, she might put you in the sleazy creep category, and rightly so.

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#12722 - 08/18/09 09:02 PM Re: Girls; Unwanted Erection Poll [Re: Graham]
Firefly Offline
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Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 4100
Loc: United States
Originally Posted By: Graham

Also, all my long relationships started with sex on the first date. I figure if a girl doesn't have sex with me on the first date, then she's really not into me.



Ummm...wow.
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#12733 - 08/19/09 01:08 AM Re: Girls; Unwanted Erection Poll [Re: Firefly]
pinkFlames Offline
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Registered: 06/17/09
Posts: 691
Loc: Australia
Originally Posted By: Firefly
Originally Posted By: Graham

Also, all my long relationships started with sex on the first date. I figure if a girl doesn't have sex with me on the first date, then she's really not into me.



Ummm...wow.


ditto

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#12780 - 08/19/09 07:27 AM Re: Girls; Unwanted Erection Poll [Re: pinkFlames]
Graham Offline
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Registered: 08/14/09
Posts: 856
can you elaborate a bit on your "wow" comment (firefly and pinkflames)?

I'm guessing you think this is bad. Just to elaborate on my end, sometimes I knew these women for a while before an actual date, but not always.

The times I met girls and we had a few dates before we had sex, it never went well because of some sexual incompatibilty. So I've started to feel that the lack of chemistry is what causes the first date not to end in sex.

I've also turned down quite a few dates who wanted to have sex with me on the first night. And again, the reason is they didn't excite me that much. A lack of chemistry again which can't always be explained in simple terms.
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it's better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all. Carpe Diem!

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#12787 - 08/19/09 11:48 AM Re: Girls; Unwanted Erection Poll [Re: Graham]
Firefly Offline
Esteemed Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 4100
Loc: United States
I really didn't want to get into a big discussion about it. Kinda 'been there, done that'.

It just that sometimes a woman will hold back a bit, even when its someone shes really into. A woman not having sex with you on the first date-- is not necessarily a woman who is not into you. In fact, it could be just the opposite. She may only want sex with you (which is perfectly fine if you are both on the same page) and really not care whether you feel much for her in the long run- because she has no intention of sticking it out with you. A woman holding back on the first date- may do so because she really is into you, but doesn't want to rush things or get hurt. The fact that you aren't interested in her anymore if she doesn't have sex with you on the first date-- just confirms in her mind that she made the right decision.

Let me be clear that I don't have a problem with sex on the first date. Not an issue. Each relationship is different and will follow a different pacing. Each relationship may have a different focus-- some are for building stronger ties, others are just more for recreation!

Heres a link to a thread where this kind of topic is relevant. I posted quite a bit in there (some very long posts!)-- you can read more of my outlook there if you are so inclined.

http://www.altpenis.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=12087&page=1


Edited by Firefly (08/19/09 11:57 AM)
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#12796 - 08/19/09 02:35 PM Re: Girls; Unwanted Erection Poll [Re: Firefly]
Graham Offline
veteran

Registered: 08/14/09
Posts: 856
thanks for the pointer to the other topic. I'll jump into that right now, instead of getting too much off topic here.

I will just say that I guess I go for the aggressive, spontaneous, highly sexual women who fancy me. I'm share those characteristics except I'm more laid-back and passive, I believe. If the woman is cautious and timid or just not attracted to me then I'll know that quickly via first night sex test.

It's not that I haven't waited a while for the sexual stage but the results have generally been a failure. Or I lost my patience.

Also, it's said that men like to chase and women should play hard to get. That's a gross generalization. I never like to chase. I like more of the meeting of minds kind of situation. And playing hard to get will never work with me.

Finally, I was always looking for a serious relationship. Never for a ONS (one night stand). If it turned out to be a ONS it was because the sex wasn't very good.
_________________________
it's better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all. Carpe Diem!

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#12833 - 08/20/09 04:06 AM Re: Girls; Unwanted Erection Poll [Re: Graham]
pinkFlames Offline
veteran

Registered: 06/17/09
Posts: 691
Loc: Australia
Originally Posted By: Graham
Finally, I was always looking for a serious relationship. Never for a ONS (one night stand). If it turned out to be a ONS it was because the sex wasn't very good.


My own experience is the first time I've had sex with any of my partners, it's been pretty ho-hum. Sometimes things improved from there, sometimes it actually went badly downhill.

I've never ever orgasmed during any of my first time encounters but once I'd built up a trust with the special ones it changed.

I really think it takes more than one time to really know if you've got something worth working on.

If a good lay is all that makes a girl worth holding on to, that pretty much cheapens a relationship in my eyes.

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#12854 - 08/20/09 12:23 PM Re: Girls; Unwanted Erection Poll [Re: pinkFlames]
Firefly Offline
Esteemed Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 4100
Loc: United States
Ditto-- sex isn't always at its best the first time with someone new. Yes, it can be exciting and fun, but you still are learning about each other and what makes you tick, so it can be not so earth shattering as well.
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#12861 - 08/20/09 04:31 PM Re: Girls; Unwanted Erection Poll [Re: Firefly]
Simi
Unregistered


Originally Posted By: Firefly
Ditto-- sex isn't always at its best the first time with someone new. Yes, it can be exciting and fun, but you still are learning about each other and what makes you tick, so it can be not so earth shattering as well.


I have had this happen a couple of times. Fortunately, one of those times was a one nighter anyways, so I didn't much care as I knew it was the one and only time I would be with him.

For the most part though, first times for me have been unbelievable, absolutely fantastic! I consider myself lucky in that regard.

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#12889 - 08/21/09 12:12 PM Re: Girls; Unwanted Erection Poll [Re: ]
Firefly Offline
Esteemed Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 4100
Loc: United States
I think sometimes sex can feel fantastic the first time! But part of it may mostly be because its someone new and thats exciting on its own merits. Especially if its someone you've desired for awhile. THeres that first thrill and rush. But chances are- you both don't know yet what really makes the other tick. Part of the fun and excitement is discovering that!
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