i'd think that a grown woman such as yourself would have already moved on rather than stick around in a somewhat personal thread for her own amusement. wow.

anyway, i'm going to bed. you may now post as much as you like. the threads all yours! have fun!

read my last post. and if this is your idea of enjoying yourself, that's kind of sad. as i said, go ahead and post awayyy! night!

TWEEEEEETTTT!!!!!!

TIME OUT!

ok- I think this is regressing a bit too much now.

Out of curiousity, I went back to find out exactly what sparked this great disagreement and this is what I found:

pinkflames said:

I wonder if she's on a forum somewhere right now, saying how much your comments to her devastated her. Obviously she lashed out at retaliation towards stuff you said to her but you're calling her the childish one.

Unquote.

-----------------------------------------------
And that, as you say, was that.

I actually find that statement to be something that I thought about as well. This was not a situation were one person was hurling insults while the other just took it or walked away from it. It was two people engaged in insulting and hurting each other. It doesn't matter who flung the first- or the last insult-- what matters is whether you continue with it or contribute to it in any way. It matters whether you(and even her) continue to relive it in your mind, or on facebook or whatever.

She hurt you-- you hurt her. She may very well be still hurting about your commentts as well. Maybe its just time to let go.

Why spend so much time, effort and anguish on someone who you yourself have described as being someone you really weren't even that into, who is very opinionated and and doesn't like any idea that falls outside of her idea of how things should be? Don't give her so much power-- its not worth it. And really, if she really is that way you have described her, why would you give any legitimacy to what shes saying anyways?



I find it ironic, reading the first page, how civil everything was. pinkflames made a empathetic comment, and jetsetter agreed with it and thanked her for it.

Now, because of one statement mentioning that there may be hurt feelings on the other side of it as well-- its digressed into this.

The thing is, that was not the harshest statement I read on here aimed at you jet. There were others, but you didn't get so angry about it.

I don't know why that statement set you off-- but maybe its time to let this one go too. And pinkflames-- I say the same to you.

Please, as a reminder to everyone on the forum, refrain from calling names or sending PM's calling names. I would appreciate that. I can understand getting really upset about discussions and disagreements on here-- its easy to get caught up in(I know I have before)--but I think its time to move on now.


Its a valid thing to point out the possible hurt on both sides. I don't understand why its not.

Really, the best thing- is to let it all go and move on. Don't give your power, peace of mind, and self-esteem away to the hurtful remarks of one woman, who by your own admission, you weren't really even that into.

Onward and upward to better things!!

What guy problems? My guy has been beside me while I've been typing this.
[/quote]
You mean your BF doesn't trust you on the internet alone? I trust my wife, but my antennae and other male sensing units would
be on high alert.
I trust my wife perfectly.But if she likes chocolate and she really loves chocolates,I would definitely keep an eye on her.
I wouldn't leave my wife alone on a penis site.
You know I have been perfectly faithful with my body for my wife of 20 years but with my mind, that has been a different story.
I once got infatuated with a very attractive girl when I was 40.She was 21. My wife is from Ecuador and this girl was from Peru it's next door neighbor.I knew all of her culture, about how her family acted, and she actually was a 21 year old model of my 35 year old wife. I told my wife that I had these feeling s but I had to keep meeting with her because she was the only tutor at that particular time in organic chemistry. I told my wife that I really wished that I didn't have to go.
I had told her that my wife cuts hair. That's when things got heavy.She asked me what time my wife cuts hair on Saturday's. I innocently answered from 9-5pm. I was thinking that she was about to make an appointment with my wife until she said back to me "So your wife will be busy until 5 this evening" Well one of us had to say something however it was a nice infatuation to have in my mind since I was 40 and she was 21. Somehow I struggled through the rest of the semester without getting in trouble.Never in my life did a girl ask me for sex and it had to be a gorgeous 21 year old.
LISTEN UP AND LISTEN UP BIG TIME. EVERYONE THAT HAS IT Set in there mind that they will remain faithful is capable of getting into trouble. I myself never thought that something that tasteful would put herself in my dish.
I also would expect my wife to be there with me if I posted on a womens forum talking about how vaginas feel when dicks are
in them and I am just of a few guys over there.
Remember that you and your spouse are people and people get into trouble.Sometimes it comes to them.

I'm not sure what to make of your post PBL. My guy does trust me on the Internet. He occasionally enjoys reading what others have said in the various forums I visit but does not feel the need to check up on me. I only mentioned his presence at the time to demonstrate that I don't have any supposed problem in my relationship. My guy trusts me on these forums and I have no reason to hide my forum activities from him.

Regarding whether or not I'm faithful - I've been in the position of knocking back somebody I really fancied because he and I were both in relationships so again, I know my limits and my boyfriend trusts me and respects me to stick to my limits.

i agree with this wholeheartedly. i've never cheated but i've had opportunities to. Anyone who has never been extremely tempted to cheat is probably just lying to themselves. From an evolutionary standpoint, guys are programmed to constantly seek out mates. Oddly enough, having only one partner is somewhat contrary to our genetic predispositions.

I'm about 98% faithful. I'd like to be 100% but I just think that's unrealistic for me.

Ironically, I wouldn't have a long-term affair but I think casual, no-strings attached hook-ups aren't devastating to a primary long term relationship.

My gf and I have an agreement. If we are away from each other we tell each other we can sleep with others but to use a condom and not to tell about it. I don't mind her having casual sex under the circumstances she is careful not to get a disease or pregnant and never, ever to tell me. I say only to tell me if she falls in love with somebody else. I think that's the point where it becomes cheating to me.

Agree competely! And that goes for women too.

I think it may take women longer to reach the thought of temptation in many cases-- but I believe even the people who are the most self-righteous when it comes to cheating-- have actually thought about it themselves. I was one of those people once-- until I realized to my shock and horror that I was capable of it as well.

When someone just really does it for you (for me it was not just physically, but mentally as well-- I genuinely liked and respected him)-- you can come to the realization that it is possible.

I have never stepped out on my husband in our over 12 yrs of being together (almost 11 of them married), but I know that even I have it in me. When I was dealing with that attraction on a daily basis- if I had been given the opportunity with my attraction, I don't know if I would have turned it down. A bit scary, don't you think?

I don't agree with this, and I also don't know about making such all-encompassing blanket statements. But we should agree on definitions ... exactly what does it mean to be "tempted", and exactly what does it mean to "cheat"?

To me, "cheat" means to go behind your partner's back, without their knowledge or consent. "Tempted" means you were seriously considering doing it and you had a particular person in mind, as opposed to just contemplating the idea in an abstract way. That's a matter of degree only, I suppose. But in my mind it's a significant difference.

Given those definitions, I never cheated in 18 years of marriage. Yes, I had sex with two men besides my husband, but they were part of threesomes, which were instigated by him I might add. Other than that, I never seriously contemplated having sex with any other men. It's true I had the occasional fantasy, but that's a long way from being "tempted".

And I'm certainly not "lying" to myself.

i really don't mean to sound offensive, but i think you are looking into it too much. my 'blanket statement' may be a slight generalization but i think its mostly the truth. i also think that an abstract contemplation of cheating isn't extremely far off from the consideration of doing it. having thoughts of infidelity is rather human. denying their existence just sounds too idealistic to me.

I didn't "deny their existence". I simply pointed out that there is a considerable difference between planning to cheat on your spouse, and a simple fantasy.

in general, yes.

I hear where you are coming from.I trust my wife as a sexual
human being. I also know from the example I used in my last post ^Every human being whether male or female is capable of being unfaithful.One may argue that this is simply not true. From knowing people who in fact faithful do say that at one point in their lives,they were being pulled very strongly
o stray a little bit because the other person would not know it.
From speaking to many many people, some cheated and some barely made it through the temptation,
EVERYONE HAS THE CAPABILITY TO BE UNINTENTIONALLY AN TRYING TO AVOID BEING UNFAITHFUL." IF a person says that the will NOT be unfaithful may have to learn a lesson before they understand.For
For myself being faithful, I knew I would be faithful.There is
no doubt in my mind I will be unfaithful.
If it weren't for the fact that I am a Christian and know the result of what even one slip up my bring on, I may have not made it. So I learned that even I with all intents not to cheat,was being pulled what like seemed an very large magnet
toward the other girl.And I had no intentions of every even getting into the position to cheat.
I have also learned from others the same exact thing that I went through.
Human Beings can be seduced until they don't care anymore
about their promise.They just want this one time to have a fling, and they go out and do it. That opens the door right to
the road to end the other relationship that she was suppose to be faithful with.
If she looks at the perspective from the outward looking into
what they have done, the wife that cheated is now really an adulteress that has the capacity to be an adulteress.And the guy she left her husband for is a guy that will go out with a woman that is very happy with her husband and family.
I don't think any of those two types of people are desireable