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#14522 - 09/30/09 02:52 AM
How Important is Virginity to You?
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member
Registered: 09/18/09
Posts: 103
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I was reading an article about how virginity in unmarried women was important in Middle Eastern countries, so much that they would kill for it. It got me thinking as to how important it was for us over here. I understand that it is a common value in many cultures, connecting with that primal urge to ensure that a woman's offspring is surely a man's own if he was the only partner. But the modern world makes such values complicated.
I know in my household, it was stressed that I find a virgin to settle down with, so that I don't end up with promiscuous used goods and that sex would feel a lot better.
Personally though, I have found it to be not at all as big of a deal as my parents want it to be. Sex with a virgin would be fitting for a guy in my position, and I don't mind taking extra precautions to ensure comfort at first colitis. But I would not care if my partner really was not a virgin if I loved this person enough to want to be in bed with her. I am not so proud to think that her not being one is cheating me out on something I deserve. Certainly I would not be furious or murderous about it. And if she really is so disagreeable, it could be seen outside of the bedroom already and I would have no business with such a person anyway. Things happen in life and things change. The way I see it, she has chosen me right there and now and not her other partners - and that is all that matters. And besides, if she is more experienced, I might be able to have more fun with her!
So how do you feel about virginity and how does it affect your thoughts and feelings around finding sexual partners?
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#14527 - 09/30/09 09:54 AM
Re: How Important is Virginity to You?
[Re: BobJo]
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veteran
Registered: 09/25/09
Posts: 928
Loc: Tucson, AZ
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So are you from the Middle East? I don't think virginity has been a big issue in Western countries for a long time. The only time I've been with a virgin, it was the first time for both of us. We were both 19, and he knew even less about sex than I did. He was a sweet boy, and he was so excited that he ejaculated before he even got inside me. He was so embarassed! We tried again later, and he was fine 
_________________________
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far and Grace will lead me home.
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#14566 - 09/30/09 02:55 PM
Re: How Important is Virginity to You?
[Re: Firefly]
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veteran
Registered: 09/25/09
Posts: 928
Loc: Tucson, AZ
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I respect people who make the decision to wait- but it just wasn't right for me. Exactly. Everyone has to do what's right for them.
_________________________
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far and Grace will lead me home.
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#14579 - 09/30/09 09:02 PM
Re: How Important is Virginity to You?
[Re: BobJo]
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journeyman
Registered: 05/28/09
Posts: 59
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It doesn't really matter to me. Actually, I would prefer not having sex with a virgin. I don't need to be that memorable. Sex with a virgin would be fitting for a guy in my position, and I don't mind taking extra precautions to ensure comfort at first colitis.
Sorry, this made me laugh. "Colitis" is an inflammatory bowel disease. I think the word you wanted is "coitus".
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#14587 - 09/30/09 11:57 PM
Re: How Important is Virginity to You?
[Re: Allegory]
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member
Registered: 09/18/09
Posts: 103
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Sorry, this made me laugh. "Colitis" is an inflammatory bowel disease. I think the word you wanted is "coitus". My fucking ass! Fixed for your reading pleasure, Mr. Dictionary. No thanks, IE spell check! EDIT: Why can't we edit any post we want after a time? It's really frustrating! Oh, and while I'm not Middle Eastern in decent, I am aware that virginity is a huge virtue in many cultures - western included. What has me concerned are the unrealistic expectations people have with virginity and the lengths people go to obtain it. It's really mind-boggling and scary to think about.
Edited by BobJo (09/30/09 11:58 PM)
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#14593 - 10/01/09 05:21 AM
Re: How Important is Virginity to You?
[Re: BobJo]
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member
Registered: 01/25/09
Posts: 129
Loc: Texas
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It's fairly irrelevant to me I guess. Since there's only one girl for me and she's doing the whole waiting for marriage thing...*shrug* Doesn't bother me. I have a different order of priorities.
_________________________
"I appear to have burst into flames."
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#15820 - 10/30/09 08:12 PM
Re: How Important is Virginity to You?
[Re: Firefly]
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veteran
Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 1158
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What is virginity?
_________________________
4.5 inches of passion. *"SCREW RESPONSIBLY.WAITING UNTIL YOU ARE MARRIED IS BEST"
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#15961 - 11/02/09 01:07 AM
Re: How Important is Virginity to You?
[Re: Firefly]
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old hand
Registered: 04/18/09
Posts: 535
Loc: Indiana
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Even most of the people who do choose to wait-- are not as innocent as they want to appear. Many of them have engaged in much sexual play and many times with more then one partner. Pretty much everything but "penis in vagina" takes place-- so I really think they are walking a fine line when claiming to be sexual virgins. I had to laugh/smile when I read this. It does seem that way with most people, myself included. I'm a virgin--in the sense that I've never had penis in vagina sex.. haha. Though, I can honestly say I don't wander around with the "I'm-so-innocent" front.. lol =]
_________________________
But someday, I'd like to live a life based on doing good stuff instead of just not doing bad stuff. You know?
Choke, Chuck Palahniuk
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#16080 - 11/06/09 09:43 AM
Re: How Important is Virginity to You?
[Re: Graham]
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veteran
Registered: 09/25/09
Posts: 928
Loc: Tucson, AZ
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If I met a man around my age who was a virgin, I'd seriously wonder about him.
_________________________
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far and Grace will lead me home.
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#16820 - 12/09/09 01:52 AM
Re: How Important is Virginity to You?
[Re: Firefly]
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member
Registered: 09/18/09
Posts: 103
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I know virginity was very important in my family: my parents insisted that I marry a virgin, saying that such a woman would be a faithful partner whom I can properly satisfy. Now, I think I'm only good for being a virgin popper and nothing else!
They've gone to say to my sister that she should not physically exert herself too much, out of fear that she would rip her hymen by accident. They've also advised that she go to a very delicate, female gynecologist, so that she won't tear her maidenhead and "lose" her virginity to the doctor's instruments. Being the active girl my sis is, that time has long gone - and I'm glad she's active and gotten over it!
Edited by BobJo (12/09/09 01:52 AM)
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#16823 - 12/09/09 10:31 AM
Re: How Important is Virginity to You?
[Re: BobJo]
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Simi
Unregistered
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Your family sounds very traditional.
Do you plan to follow what they are asking of you? Or, go your own direction and marry for love, not having virginity as a requirement?
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#16828 - 12/09/09 01:05 PM
Re: How Important is Virginity to You?
[Re: ]
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member
Registered: 09/18/09
Posts: 103
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Your family sounds very traditional.
Do you plan to follow what they are asking of you? Or, go your own direction and marry for love, not having virginity as a requirement? That's funny, because my family tends to be a little more progressive than the other parts of my extended family. It must only appear that way in terms of sex. I plan on doing things my own way: listening to them has screwed me over more times that I realize. Read more about it here.
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#16836 - 12/09/09 05:05 PM
Re: How Important is Virginity to You?
[Re: BobJo]
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old hand
Registered: 04/18/09
Posts: 535
Loc: Indiana
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They've gone to say to my sister that she should not physically exert herself too much, out of fear that she would rip her hymen by accident. They've also advised that she go to a very delicate, female gynecologist, so that she won't tear her maidenhead and "lose" her virginity to the doctor's instruments. Being the active girl my sis is, that time has long gone - and I'm glad she's active and gotten over it! This entertains me. When I was four I fell backwards off a chair and ripped my hymen... So maybe I'm not a virgin afterall! ((very tongue in cheek..))
_________________________
But someday, I'd like to live a life based on doing good stuff instead of just not doing bad stuff. You know?
Choke, Chuck Palahniuk
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#16840 - 12/09/09 06:04 PM
Re: How Important is Virginity to You?
[Re: RainbowUnderwear]
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old hand
Registered: 06/17/09
Posts: 546
Loc: Australia
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They've gone to say to my sister that she should not physically exert herself too much, out of fear that she would rip her hymen by accident. They've also advised that she go to a very delicate, female gynecologist, so that she won't tear her maidenhead and "lose" her virginity to the doctor's instruments. Being the active girl my sis is, that time has long gone - and I'm glad she's active and gotten over it! This entertains me. When I was four I fell backwards off a chair and ripped my hymen... So maybe I'm not a virgin afterall! ((very tongue in cheek..)) I knew a little girl who lost her "virginity" to a clothesline. She was climbing a rotary line and fell, tearing her perineum from vagina to anus on the winder handle. She would be an adult now but I have no idea where she is or how her injury has affected her life. Of course most girls and younger women will stretch or break their hymens through tampon insertion or masturbation and self exploration, if it hasn't already been damaged through normal childhood play.
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